spontaneity

My pastor made a comment the other day that made me laugh. I also had to stop and think about the comment. He said, "I like to plan my spontaneity." I am usually a planner. I had my whole life planned out when I was young. My plans did not happen as I had planned. This was really hard on me. Then I married.

John,my husband, is very spontaneous. He does not like to plan anything. It has made me become more spontaneous.

I have found that being spontaneous has helped me keep my life more balanced. When I am spontaneous I have a chance to live beyond my plans, and enjoy life. Living in the moment has been a struggle for me, and spontaneity helps me to be able to live in the moment.

So yesterday, my daughters were asking me to take them all kinds of places today. I told them that I was planing on being spontaneous today. I had a great day, and it was very stress relieving. I was spontaneous all day. I loved it. I went and helped a friend clean her garage, took my kids to the beach, went kayaking, and went to work. I did not know about work until 15 minutes before I had to leave, so that was spontaneous as well. I have decided that I need to plan spontaneity at times in my life. I was very stressed all week, and this day of spontaneity helped me to unwind.

There are times that we need to plan, but I spend too much time planning, and need to relax and enjoy the moment at times as well. I WILL BE SPONTANEOUS AT TIMES!!!

It was a great day, and I am so glad that I decided to plan to be spontaneous for the day.

Relationships

I know it has been a while. I have been working full time, and not had much time between family and work. One of my good friends is moving. I just moved to this area a year and a half ago, and this person is one of the few people who I have meant and feel comfortable talking with. I love her a lot. I also know that this move is for her best. Therefore I bless her, and wish her the best.

This being said, I was listening to a podcast today where the person was saying that people who are believers are connected, and when they meet it is just like they have known each other all their lives. I think this is not a realistic view of life. It takes time to build relationships. I determined that I would take the time that was needed to build good relationships. I have slacked off on this in the last month. With work and family I just have not felt like taking the time. I really need to get back into the hard work of relation building. It might not be hard work for you, but it sure is hard work for me. I was not raised knowing how to handle relationships, and am trying to learn this much needed skill in life.

I have found that I handle the trials in life much better when I have friends to walk along side me through them. My husband is great, and I love him walking beside me, but I also need my friends as well. They are there for me, and I am there for them.

Let God Do The Work!!

I was reading about when David brought the ark of the LORD to Jerusalem. (2Samuel 6:1-23) In the first attempt David used his own knowledge. He used a cart pulled by some oxen. In the process Uzzah was killed because he touched the ark. When Uzzah was killed David was afraid and said, "How can the ark of the LORD ever come to me?"

Fear is the same reaction that I have when I am moving forward in what I believe God wants me to do, and get stopped in my tracks. I usually take years to come out of this fear. David only took 3 months. WOW!! Fear makes us pull away from God, but David didn't pull away for too long, and when he told God just how he felt God answered him. He showed him the right way to bring the ark to Jerusalem. David tried to bring the ark to Jerusalem a second time, and this time he did it as Moses said to. No one was killed this time, and the ark got it's own home in the very town that David lived in.

I am trying to learn from David, and tell God exactly how I feel about what is happening in my life.

Another way I am trying to learn from David is to allow God to work out his plan for my life instead of doing it in my own power. This story shows us what happens when we do things in our own power verses God's power. It was when David brought the ark to Jerusalem in God's plan that it worked.

When David was anointed King he didn't take things into his own hands. He waited for God to bring everything to pass. David was even given opportunities to Kill Saul, the king at that time, but David did not take them. I am trying to be better in this respect in my own life. I want to wait on God, and only do what I see him doing through me.

This is not easy for me. I am a planner, and like to know what is coming. God is teaching me to enjoy the moment, and leave the future to him.

Organic Living

I have been asked, "What is the next move of God?" I believe that God is working in the lives of individuals organically.

When you want to plant an organic garden what do you do? You might read books, but until you actually plant your garden you do not know what questions to ask. You need to get your hands dirty.

The same is true in our lives. God is working in us to draw us back to the natural. He wants to draw us back to him. He is not working in "institutions" He is working in individuals. It is not our job to start new churches. There are enough churches already!!!

God wants us to have relationship with him and with his body. ALL OF HIS BODY!! Even if you do not fully agree with them you need to have relationship with them because they might just have something that you need.

There are people trying to write formulas for what God is doing, but it will look different in every place. It will look different in you than it does in your friend. It will look different in your city than the city down the road. It will look different in your state that it does in other states. It will look different in your country than in other countries. God works with the seasons that are in our lives and in the life of the place we live in.

We can not read a book and get a "formula" for what God is doing. The only way we can find what God is doing is by stopping and listening to him. He might ask you to step away from the things that you think you are doing for Him. He might even ask you to stop attending the institution that you attend and focus only on Him for a time. You need to be willing to listen to Him and do only what he asks you to do.

God told me, "I have not asked you to fight." God only asks us to stand. When we fight we are looking for an enemy. When we stand we have to look at ourselves.

We do not have to change ourselves just be honest with God as to what we are really like. Then we ask God to change us. God can change us better than we can change ourselves. In fact we can not change ourselves. God changes us on the inside, and then our actions show the changes that he has made in us. There are times that God asks us to do things to help with this change. These things can be hard. We have to have enough faith in God that He is with us and loves us.

So stand and listen to what God is telling you. Quit chasing after every wind of doctrine

Building an alter

When the Israelites built an alter it was not to be cut by man. Just as Israel was not to alow man to cut the stones used in their worship, we are not to try to fix ourselves so we can be more fit for worshiping God. All we have to do is relax and trust that God can fix us.

Lately I have been thinking on this very subject. No matter how we try our problems keep coming back. It was not until I quit trying to fix myself, and just let God fix me that I started getting the help I needed. I see so many people trying to fix themselves through counseling, accountability, and other things. These things only help if that person is willing to accept the fact that they can not do on their own.

Jesus came to fix our problem, SIN!! He is the only answer. Just relax and let him fix you. When we relax and come to the understanding that Jesus' death on the cross truly fixed everything we will be able to overcome a multitude of sin.

relationship

I have been thinking about relationships lately. At a bible study the leader talked about having coffee with your neighbors to get to know them, and then some time later starting a bible study in your home. I thought about this, and it is exactly like the approach MLM uses. You get to know people just so you can get them to buy into your company. I do not like this approach at all, and it is not what Jesus did. He loved people, and got to know them because he cared about them. It did not matter if they would eventually kill him or not.

My oldest went to youth group with a friend the other night. I asked her what she thought. She said that she did not agree with all the pastor said. I asked what she did not agree with. She said that he said that they should have many friends so they could build you up. She said that this seemed selfish to her. She does not only want friends to build her up. She wants relationship with her friends, and to build them up as well. She also said that it is hard to maintain friendships, and she does not want to have many friends. She feels that a few good friends is better than a multitude of friends. I agree with her, and think she is not the right track. I am so glad that God has put other adults in her life who agree with her and will also encourage her.

It is important to build up and help our youth. They have a tough life.

The Final Quest

I read the book The Final Quest by Rick Joyner some time ago, and for some reason it comes back to my thoughts several times. It was mentioned in passing by a friend the other day, and I started to think about it again.

When I read it I thought I want to be an Eagle. I want to be one of those who has seen God and then encourage others. I do not want to fight for what I believe. I want to encourage others.

I had a dream about this same time where me and several friends went up to this meeting. One friend meant us there. He opened a door, but did not go through the door with us. In the door was utter darkness. We went through the darkness, and came into a room. In the middle of the room was an apple tree. There was a friend at the tree. One of my friends went to her, and showed her into the corner. I do not know what was in the corner. I saw another friend go to the other side of the room. There was bins with several different types of fruit in them. I followed her. I now believe this was us going to meet with God. God showed us part of who he was. Some of my friends saw different parts of God, but they still saw God.

As I was thinking of The Final Quest today, I came to the conclusion that this is not about a future war, but about the battle that has been waging since the resurrection of Christ. Believers have always fought each other. I pray that more and more believes make it to the throne room so that the battle can stop. I was watching CSI Miami, and a woman told Horacio "My plan is to sit back and watch as the world changes forever." This has become my plan. I want to sit back and watch as God changes the world forever.

"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.' I pray for God's kingdom to come down to Earth more and more. I believe it is already here in each one of us. I want to see it here in ever human who lives on the face of the earth.

Can you love if you are afraid?

I have been asking myself this question after listening to a podcast at Emergent Village link. I do not think you can.

In 1 John it says, 'There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.' I think that this is what the Israelite's faced when they saw God at Mt Sinai. They were afraid, and so they could not love God. They got the law which told them how to love God, but it is impossible to love God when we are afraid. Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you. do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear." When we are worrying we are afraid of what will come. When we are afraid of what will come we are not looking around us. We are looking to the future. I have come to the conclusion that nothing that happens to me can be that bad because I have God with me. With God I can walk through anything!! This helps me to enjoy my life more, and to enjoy the people around me more. It does not matter what they think of me. I have God, and he is enough.

I have only come to this understanding by allowing Christ to change me into his image. I tried to live in the moment by myself, but I could not do it in my own power. I think this is where the children of Israel were. Christ had not died for them yet, and so they did not have the power that we have today. They found that they could not follow the law in their own power. Just as we can not live the life that God has called us to live in our own power. It only comes from surrendering ourselves to the Spirit and allowing Him to change us into the image of Christ. This change does not always happen over night, and it is never 100% easy, but as we put on the yoke of our Lord we find that life is much more fun, and easier than it ever was before.

No matter what happens to me I know that I can walk through it with my Lord. This makes life worth living.

The Law

I have been reading through the law. As I read through it I wonder "What is this there for?"

I have come to the conclusion that the law is there to show us how we are to live with God and man. It is there for those who do not have a relationship with Christ. Christ in us helps us to learn how we are to love others. I have found that it is much easier to allow Christ to change me than to follow the law. I can not follow the law by myself, but as Christ changes me I am able to love God and others better than I ever have in the past.

I thank God for all that he has done in me, and all that he has changed in me.

salt

Lev 2:13 says "Season all your grain offerings with salt. Do not leave the salt of the covenant of your God out of your grain offerings; add salt to all your offerings."

This made me think. What was Jesus really saying when he said, "you are the salt of the Earth." Then I found Mk 9:50 "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other."

The salt in our lives brings peace. How can we live in peace? I know from experience it does not work in our own effort. We can try all we want, but eventually we will get frustrated and blow up at everyone around us. I finally found my peace when I learned that everything that happens is in God's plan. Even the bad is in God's plans. I know this is not popular, but how can I be at peace if I feel that when bad things happen it is the enemy beating me in battle. When I feel that if things are bad I need to do something to make the bad stop. Instead of trying to stop the bad I now say to myself, "God knows what is happening, and I know that He has it all in his control." When I realize that God has all of this in his control I do not have to worry about it anymore. I can live in peace, and trust God to bring things around for good.

I am not saying that we just set back and do nothing. This is stupidity. We live our lives doing what we feel God has called us to do. We live our lives at peace with our brothers and sisters. We live in peace with the Earth. This can only happen when we live in relationship with God and men. Jesus came so we can have a relationship with God. He has made a way for the whole world to live in peace. I for one want to enjoy that peace, and I do have peace now.

There are days that I need to remind myself that God is in control. I praise God for His peace.

i have been thinking more and more about the promised land of freedom. Christ promised freedom to all who would follow him, but i did not see this freedom growing up in the church. all i saw was rules and regulations. a list of does and don'ts. i was told if you did not do certain things you would go to hell. there was not freedom. i see this more and more in my mom. she is worried about many things. she can not give others the freedom to be them selves because she is too worried about their eternal soul.

i am so glad that God has taken me out of this trap and given me freedom. i have the freedom to allow Him to work in the lives of those around me, because i know that He is the only one who can bring the true freedom in them. i have the freedom to watch my children grow up int lovely ladies. i am amazed at their wisdom and sometimes at the exuberance of youth.

i have the freedom to love those around me without trying to change them. i can love them for who they are, and watch as God brings them into what He has for them. it is fun to watch. i love seeing his work in the lives of others. it proves to me again and again that his ways are so much better than my ways. i hear things come out of the mouths of others that causes me to stop and think. things that shape my whole world.

i am so glad that God has helped me to come out of the trap i was raised in. i can not live in the freedom of relationship with both God and man. 'the truth will set you free.'

God cares about all of us

i was reading through one of the many lists of names in the bible. as i read it tough, 'why are all of these names here. these people are long gone, and nobody really remembers them or what their lives were like.' then it struck me, God remembers. He remembers each and every one of them. He listed these names as a way of saying, i care for each and every one of you. i remember you, and will remember every one of my sons and daughters. it was so encouraging and comforting. God is so good.

God loves us so much. it is so cool how much He cares for us.

my sister is going to Honduras

my sister called today. she said that she is going to Honduras to help out in an orphanage with some friends of hers in Kansas. i am so excited for her. she is so happy. she thought that it would not be possible for her to go again for a long time. i am so glad that God provided a way for her to go.

Joseph's trials

as i read through the life of Joseph i was reminded of my own life. i have had a dream for my future that i was planning on since i was young. when i graduated i planned on accomplishing this dream. the rug was pulled out from under my feet. it was very hard for me to take, but i eventually got on with my life and forgot about my dream. then God told me to embrace the dreams of my youth. i started to dream the same dream again. i was standing on the dream, and knew that God would bring it to pass. at this time it looked to me that the dream was going to happen. then, the rug was pulled out from under me again. i was devastate again. i am not back up on my feet. i do believe that God will bring the dream to pass, but this time i am standing on God and not the dream. i trust that He will make it happen, but i do not know how or the time it will happen.

God is faithful to bring his work to pass in my life.

Where is Satan in the creation story

in sunday school i was taught that Satan went to the serpent, and convinced him to talk to Eve. when i read the creation story i did not see this. it just says that the serpent went to Eve, and the serpent did not say, 'Satan told me to do it.' why is this? does it say some where else in the bible that Satan went to the serpent? i am really wonder about this.

i do know that the thing that God has shown me through this new insight to the creation story is that we give Satan far too much power. it is not always him who has caused our problems. there was a time in my life when i spent all of my time fighting Satan. John told me that i was giving him way to much power, but i could not see what he was saying, then God, 'i never asked you to fight. i only asked you to stand.' he used Eph 6:10-18where the armor of God is mentioned to tell me this. in this whole passage it never says to fight, however it says several times to stand. you can look it up if you like.

i have found that it is harder to stand than to fight. when we fight we are looking at other people. when we stand we have no one to look at bout our selves. i am so glad that when we stand God is standing right there beside us. He is the one who helps us make it through.

i love it when God takes the lessons of the past and makes the real again in my life.

The God of Abraham The Fear of Isaac

I came across an interesting description of God. Jacob repeats it several times in Gen 31:42, and several other places Jacob calls God The Fear of Isaac. Why is this?

When it says in 1 John 4:18 'There is not fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.'

My only conclusion to this is that Isaac was not able to build the relationship with God that his father had. His father was a friend of God, but Isaac feared God. I do believe that God wanted to have the same relationship with Isaac that He had with Abraham, but was not able to have it. Isaac feared the punishment of God. This is why Jesus came to this earth. He came so that we could have that relationship with God without fear. God loved us so much he wanted to have a relationship with us. He knew that there was no chance of relationship as long as there was still the fear of punishment from God. He sent Jesus to us to take that punishment. We no longer have to look at God and fear. We can now look at God as a friend. We can have the same relationship with God that Abraham had. We can be known as a friend of God.

God loves us so much that He took the fear of punishment and destroyed it. It is gone forever. Praise be to God.

Hagar

another story that i have had questions about is the story of Abram and Hagar. why didn't God tell Abraham that he was wrong to take Hagar? why did God give the same promise to Hagar that he gave to Abraham? [Gen 16:10] how many times have i taken a promise from God and tried to answer in in my own thinking? Abraham did not even think Sarah would ever give him a child, and he did wait until she suggested using Hagar.

i have been through several experiences where i have thought i knew what the promises that God had given me were. i have went forward seeking the outcome of these things only to find out that was not what God meant by his promise. when i find this out i end up crashing to the ground not knowing where to go from there. i have discovered that i need to seek God, and not the promises that he has given me. when i relax in who God is and trust him to bring things to pass i do much better. it is not an easy thing to do though. i want to be in control, and relaxing in God leaves him in control. i have come to trust his love for me, and that he will bring me through the life that he has for me. i no longer try to figure out where God is taking me. i now live each day as they come. it is not important for me to know where i am headed. it is important for me to do what he is calling me to do for today.

job

i am reading a chronological view of the bible, so after reading through the tower of Babel i went to job. i have liked job for some time. it is comforting to me. the book tells me that bad things do not always happen as a result of sin in our lives. job's friends tried to tell him that he had sinned, and that is the reason for everything that happened to him. that just is not the case. God even told them to repent of such teaching. job actually held the same teaching. he was angry at God for punishing him with out cause. the conclusion of the book is that God is God. he can do what ever he wants to do.

it is also interesting that we find the devil in heaven several times through the book. i was always taught that sin can not be in heaven, and the devil is nothing but sin. how is he in heaven then? this has often puzzled me. i have come to the conclusion that the original teaching that i have received was wrong. God can have sin in heaven, and he can look on sin. God loved me even when i was a sinner. how can he love me with out looking at me. he loved me in spite of who i was, and how bad i was. God is so good to us.

new years resolution

i have had some questions lately, well actually for quite some time, about what i believe the bible has to say about who God is. i have decided to read through the bible this year, and see what i can find out. i will reveal some of my findings here.

i will let the bible interpret itself. i am going to strive not to use other peoples interpretations of the scripture. i have been raised in the church, and have a lot of other peoples ideas about what the scripture says in my mind. it will be a good year of discovering fresh and new who God is.